QE2 VIEWS: INSIDER #3 PETERNB (3: More Tips)

"What tends to happen is that (each time) you get onboard you are so hyped up that you find yourself rushing around trying to see everything and soak it all up. Then, after a few days you find yourself drifting into an 'Ocean life' (as I call it).

Instead of making haste (as you do at home) you find yourself just slowly unwinding and taking life really easy. Sure, you plan your day and end up making extensive use of everything onboard - so there's no chance to get bored, but, if you choose - you just lie on deck and people watch etc or read in one of the lounges. You choose the speed of things.

Onboard, you'll find that everybody (with the exception of maybe one or two people out of 1700) has the sort of manners that we dream of at home. Doors are held open for you, thank you's and pleasant exchanges are everywhere. Decency abounds and makes your stay onboard most relaxing and revitalises your soul and spirit. (Hang on - I sound like a Cunard Rep - I'm not!!! I promise!!!).

Dress code. Everybody's question..... First night is informal - which means jacket and tie to dinner. Transatlantics are 4 formal (Dinner jacket etc) nights. Those being the middle nights. Last night is informal again. Theory being that everybody has packed their cabin trunks with all their glad rags!!! Day time wear is casual. World cruise tends to be 'no jeans' but Transatlantics are less stuffy and people do wear jeans. It's best to dress smart jeans as opposed to distressed!!!! T-shirts are ok as long as they don't have rude things on them!!

You have every right to be excited about your first voyage on QE2 - but be warned - it may not be your last - and you'll be planning your next trip ASAP. QE2 is not the cheapest ship to travel on. Not the most expensive either by any stretch. Reckon on $4.00 for a beer. $5.50 for a glass of wine. Cocktails are about $8.00. Steiner beauty salon is great. And they do loads of treatments for men. Go for the seaweed body wrap and massage followed by a frangipan head massage. Then spend the next few hours floating on air................!!!!!

Evenings onboard usually have shows and other bits and pieces (All explained in the daily programme which is delivered under your door during the night).

When you check in at Southampton - have the credit card you want to use for onboard handy. You give that to them at check-in. They take a pic of you and produce your sign and sail card - an identity card with your pic on. You need to produce that card when you board and disembark the ship. On a transatlantic - that should be only once..!!!! You don't need the card at other times really. When you sign for chits - just tell them your cabin number. They give you the chit with each drink you order. If you're staying a while and having a number of rounds - just let them keep adding to the slip so that you only have to sign once. It saves the pursers office a lot of paper work and doesn't make you look like you've been trying to drink the ship dry.

When my wife and I did a transatlantic - I kept a diary which I named 'Diary of a Queen Elizabeth 2 Transatlantic Crossing'. It was great fun to do and details all the various encounters we made together with an unravelling of (some very amusing) characters we met onboard - rather like an Agatha Christie - in fact you could write a book 'Murder at Sea' where the laundry room washing powder is spiked with some agent.......!!!! Anyway - took loads of 'photos and inserted that into the Word doc (I took my lap top with to do it!!!) and eventually printed it up. Forty pages on a six day voyage........!!!!! I read it from time to time. And then regret it as I then pick up the Cunard brochure and start perusing that!!!

Sea sickness. If you find yourself becoming ill. Don't hesitate. Go to the Doctor's (deck 6 - low) and either get the wrist band - or better still the injection. The injection can make some people very sleepy for 12 hours - but after that - you'll be banging your fists on the dining room door wanting masses to eat - followed by a sprint around the promenade deck and a bit of pole dancing on the fore-mast.

Dock Rock. When you get off the ship in New York and you're standing somewhere, you'll feel as if the ground is moving. This is because your body has adjusted to the motion of the ship and compensates for it. Therefore when you stand on tera firma - your body moves (in your mind). Some people hate it - we adore this sensation. One time we had it so bad that for days afterwards (especially lying down) we thought we were still on QE2. One time in Heathrow having flown back from NYC we were so dock rocked we could hardly stand up and did some pretty impressive spins in arrivals at Terminal 4. (People may think you've had a few!!!)

Best advice is - take a camera - a camcorder and let QE2 do the rest............. Let me know if you have any other questions about QE2".